Prayer Pondering

Our Sunday school lesson this week dealt with prayer and personal revelation. I believe in the power of prayer and the reality of prayers being answered. But I have found that a crucial step in getting answers to prayer is first asking the right question. A friend of mine made this exact point, referring to something Elder Packer once said:

"We often find … people who will pray with great exertion over matters that they are free to decide for themselves. Suppose, if you will, that a couple had money available to build a house. Suppose they had prayed endlessly over whether they should build an Early American style, a ranch style, modern-style architecture, or perhaps a Mediterranean style. Has it ever occurred to you that perhaps the Lord just plain doesn’t care? Let them build what they want to build. It’s their choice. In many things we can do just what we want.”

Yes! I have been guilty of that. Even with “big” decisions, like proposing to Kara or making an offer on a home, I mistakenly believe that if I phrase the prayer so that it is a yes/no question, I’m more likely to get an answer.

The Lord has given us both intelligence and agency; He’s not going to make our decisions for us. When I pled to know if Kara and I would be happily married, he couldn’t answer. That would be up to us. What if he’d whispered, “Yes, everything will be fine.” Might we not have felt the need to work at our marriage so diligently? I also don’t believe He gives out insurance plans, like “Will everything be OK if we take this job and move to Kansas?” Wrong question.

Sometimes I hear statements like “We know that we are supposed to be here.” Maybe you are but what does that mean? I’d be real careful in this area; it sounds like pre-destination, a concept that I don’t accept. What does “supposed to” mean in this sense? A place where obstacles to happiness will be minimized? Or maximized to result in spiritual growth? Or somewhere in between to provide a challenging but rewarding life? Is it an area where your unique talents can be used to serve others effectively? Let me submit that this can occur just about anywhere.

I’m not trying to question people’s sense of personal alignment with what they feel is a master plan for their life. I have just found in that reviewing my life, every prayer where I attempted to defer agency (and therefore accountability) has remained unanswered. I think I understand now. Asking why I got MS or even if it is a challenge I’m “supposed to have” is folly. What I should be praying for is increased measures of patience, perspective, and peace. (And you don’t need a chronic illness to start asking for that!)