Filler

So Erika had a school assignment to compose some poetry. One of them was autobiographical. I did not like much of the tenor of the poem, but especially took exception to these lines:

My parents named me Erika.

Not planned or picked out special,

Really.

After I read it I had to disagree. Because talking is kind of a pain right now, I thought I’d better write it down. I guess it is somewhat personal but this entire blog is kind of personal so what’s the harm? Here is the short letter I wrote to her:

OK Erika, here’s the thing – I know that your teacher doesn’t care about this, and the poem is fine for the assignment, but I just have to say something. The part that I read makes it sound like you were just some kid that happened to be born to us. Like it was no big deal, just another kid. “What shall we name her?” “I dunno; it doesn’t matter. It’s a girl? How about, I don’t know, Erica? But with a K just because, I don’t know, what the heck?” “Yeah, and to be cute we’ll have her middle name be ‘Kay.’ No meaning there, just another name. Besides, she’s just some middle child; she’ll get lost in the shuffle.”

I don’t think you realize what a monumental event your birth was to us. Not just because of the health scare either. From the day was found out we were expecting, to the thrill of learning it was a girl, to your birth, through your illness, and to your homecoming and next 13 years, it has been a joy beyond description. I like to think of myself as a writer and I can’t even find the words. Sure, we already had two kids, but still,  your soft brown eyes and pleasant disposition were so heart-wrenchingly precious. It doesn’t matter that you are not the oldest, or the youngest. You will always hold a very special and very large part of our hearts.

Then tonight we we’re having ice cream pie and I let Natalie choose her slice first. Erika protested this and asked why. With a wink I said, “Because she is our favorite.” Erika smiled, knowing I was teasing. Natalie smiled too, hoping I wasn’t. I continued, “You see, we have a first-born, a baby and a boy.” Ryan then chimed in, “Yeah Erika, you’re just filler.”

It was hilarious, mainly because the idea is so preposterous. My little Eebie is one of my favorites; she knows that.