My brother asked me to consider, and then report on my blog, what I would do first if I awaken one day and my symptoms had vanished. My initial reaction was “Go back to work” which I know is unsensational but it would be a top priority.
I’ve given it some thought, and I guess my first action would be to ascertain if indeed I was still living. I am certain that death will cure me of MS, and I would somehow try to see if that had happened! Assuming I was still living, I would awaken Kara (which might end my life anyway) and I would talk a lot.
Resuming my employment, or seeking new employment, would be the overarching priority, not just because I love to work or I feel there is a spreadsheet out there waiting to be created or data in need of analysis. There would be an economic urgency, as my disability pay stops when my disability ceases, but that is not the main reason either. It is just that over the last 2 ½ years as I have been unable to work, there has been a domino-effect on my self-esteem, my relationship with Kara, and with my children. I would be eager to reverse that fall-out if I could.
Assuming I had done everything I could on the employment front, and I was going back to work tomorrow, I would offer to resume bedtime stories to Natalie, I would sing with Erika, I would call my parents and all my siblings, I would call a few friends, and I would sing some more. A lot. I would be so annoying. (There might be some new fall-out.)
I like to think that I would first offer a prayer of gratitude, but in truth, I thought of all that other stuff first. I guess I would be like one of the nine lepers.
I would love to resume tennis and I would start running. Maybe train for a marathon. Or at least a 10K. Or a 5K. (Do they have 3Ks? You know, just to get you started? Presently I would really struggle to complete a 1K.) I would learn to wrestle. I would take a trip to Utah to show off for one of my favorite gals. If it were winter, I’d take her skiing.
OK, I am done with this musing. I don’t do it often because I am content with living in the present, and learning to live with my limitations, but I guess it doesn’t hurt to dream every once in a while.
5 comments:
which brother? I love this post.
Jeff. And it raises a good point: I do take requests if anyone has a curiosity.
Here's a couple
-If you were told you could pick one symptom to get rid of, which would you eliminate?
-If you were to pick a favorite sis-in-law who would it be?
more-
-do you look at people with disabilities any different now than you did before your illness?
-how has your perspective on enduring to the end changed?
- do you live your life with hope of a cure or remission or is it easier to live your life assuming this is will be with you for the rest of your life?
-you've mentioned depression as an issue with this illness. Has that gotten easier to deal with or is that a constant battle?
These are things I would ask you in person. SO if you don't want to answer them, just ignore me.
I wasn't ignoring the first question; I've just been giving it a lot of thought. I'll answer the other questions too; they're good.
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