Sunday, as I listened to the words to one of my favorite hymns “Lord, I Would Follow Thee,” I was struck with poignancy. These lyrics inspired me to press forward when I was a strung-out Elders Quorum President.
I would be my brother's keeper;
I would learn the healer's art.
To the wounded and the weary
I would show a gentle heart.
I would be my brother's keeper-
Lord, I would follow thee.
I really tried hard, and I don’t regret a single shred of the effort put forth, but I’m afraid I only addressed the problems I could see. In the 3rd verse it says, “In the quiet heart is hidden sorrow that the eye can't see.” Now I understand this so much better! There is so much unseen sorrow, and such a need for compassion. Will I get a chance to be at full-strength again now that I’ve learned this? Lord, I WOULD follow Thee.
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My Black Cloud
In 2006, I was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis, or MS. I had heard of this disease, but knew nothing about it. I have since learned that really is more of a symptom than a disease -- tiny little scars on the nerve membranes of the brain and spinal cord. These scars are evidence that something in your body went wrong and nerve damage is the result. Exactly what nerves are damaged, and to what extent, is highly individualized. I'm certain there are many causes just as there are many "cures." The trick is figuring out yours.
When the problems began I was troubled by how omnipresent it was. I thought about it ALL the time, and I couldn’t stop thinking about it. The symptoms weren’t terribly acute, but they were so pervasive that I rarely would get a mental break. Besides, I am a worrier and that didn’t help.
By October 2007, problems with my eyesight, voice, and energy levels were interfering enough with my profession that I went on medical leave.
So there you have it. That is my “black cloud.” However, there are a lot of “silver linings” and I continue to feel that despite this challenge, I am one of the most blessed men alive. So why blog? Actually, I have another blog that chronicles funny thoughts and happy experiences, but only lightly touches on my illness. (There is a link to that site below.) The purpose of this blog is to share more directly how I am doing physically and emotionally. I hope it will help allay concern of family and friends that don’t see me often. Sure, it still dramatically affects me, but there are signs of improvement in some areas.
When the problems began I was troubled by how omnipresent it was. I thought about it ALL the time, and I couldn’t stop thinking about it. The symptoms weren’t terribly acute, but they were so pervasive that I rarely would get a mental break. Besides, I am a worrier and that didn’t help.
By October 2007, problems with my eyesight, voice, and energy levels were interfering enough with my profession that I went on medical leave.
So there you have it. That is my “black cloud.” However, there are a lot of “silver linings” and I continue to feel that despite this challenge, I am one of the most blessed men alive. So why blog? Actually, I have another blog that chronicles funny thoughts and happy experiences, but only lightly touches on my illness. (There is a link to that site below.) The purpose of this blog is to share more directly how I am doing physically and emotionally. I hope it will help allay concern of family and friends that don’t see me often. Sure, it still dramatically affects me, but there are signs of improvement in some areas.
Link to my happy blog
About Me
- David
- I am the third-born of ten children. I am a card-carrying member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (Mormon). I served a two-year mission in Argentina and later taught Spanish at the Missionary Training Center. I am married to a beautiful woman and we have four children. I have a bachelor's degree in economics and an MBA from BYU.
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