Writer's Block

So, I don’t know what to write here. It isn’t that I don’t have any thoughts on this ordeal; quite the contrary, actually. I think about it all the time. The whole premise of “The Silver Lining” is optimism with maybe a touch of inspiration.

This past week I may have been having an exacerbation. I’m not really sure, and there is no memo announcing it. I’m not always the most objective person when it comes to my health, but Kara has noticed a precipitous increase in fatigue and I have noticed that at some times of the day, any exertion tires me really quickly. More troubling is the “nervy” feeling I have, especially after resting in bed for a spell.

It seems that my voice has gone from “worse than I thought possible” to “way worse than I thought possible.”  Walking is more unsteady at times.

So what may have triggered this? Who knows? I did have a little cold, maybe that’s it. I have not been under inordinate stress. I can’t help but consider maybe it is triggered by an allergic reaction. You know, my first problems happened this week in 2006. Maybe there’s something in the air.

So back to the problem at hand. What do I write about? Silver Linings are tough to come by during the bad stretches and tend to sound dramatic if not sarcastic, like I’m thankful for the sun and that it didn’t explode today. What is inspiring about me chronicling the struggle I had making a tuna sandwich? But I came off conqueror! It was good. No, it’s not that bad. If you watched me make a tuna sandwich about the only thing you might notice was that I am a bit slow and deliberate. The problem is the twenty minutes I’m resting on the couch gearing up to make lunch, the careful way I chew and swallow, and then rest from the exertion.

I guess one great thing is that this latest episode has corresponded nicely with the NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament. I’ve listened to a lot of basketball this week. It is a good diversion. Maybe in a few days I’ll tell you about Wednesday afternoon when I got a call to give a blessing.  It was clearly the worst day this past week and pretty much at the worst hour.  But it was for a long-time friend that called me despite my limitations and challenges of which he is familiar.

I need to find a way to tell the story without breaking confidences, painting an exaggerated struggle to do the service, or make me sound like I was leading  the Crusades.

You know, I might not write that story.