Principles

(This article, like the last one, isn’t about MS or optimism at all. They are about parenting in the gospel, and because they are serious and somewhat personal, so I’m going to share them here instead of on my other blog.)

I think that I have done a poor job of teaching principles to my kids. As mentioned in the “Fasting” post, they know the rules of fasting, but I don’t think they “get it” yet. This is manifest in the whining and complaining, the exaggerated sighs and head-banging on the pantry door. Without a testimony of the principle, we are prone to unduly shortening the fast, “cheating” or rationalizing (like, the bread not used in the Sacrament is Holy Bread is therefore OK to eat during Sunday school.) Obedience to the rules is important, but without the testimony underpinnings, what is the point? It isn’t my goal to starve my kids once a month. And besides, they won’t always live at home.

With this thought in mind, I fielded a disturbing question Sunday afternoon from Amanda. For those who don’t know her, she is 17 and she has always had a keen sense of right and wrong and happily, she clings to righteousness (with the exception of some intolerance of her brother.) She is so good and admirable in so many ways. She is a model Laurel. But after church Sunday she asked me if it would be OK to “sit outside by the pool and enjoy nature” on the Sabbath. I told her that I didn’t see any trouble with that, but I did not approve of Sunday sun-tanning. She began to plead her case. You can make a pretty good case for this, if Sabbath day observance is just a list of prohibitions.

However, to me the Sabbath is for worship, spiritual development, service to others, and family bonding/ togetherness. It is to be a day to rest and re-charge. But even saying this much, you can justify anything you want to. You can “rest” while tanning and you can bond with family while frolicking in the pool or eating out. I think that the overriding principle is holiness and a day to rest from our regular activities. If we truly make it a day that is different from the other days in the week, we will be blessed. The Sabbath is for us. I need to figure out a way to teach this to my kids. In the meantime, we will continue to enforce rules! (Of note, she did not “lay out,” and did not even pursue it beyond the initial probe. Maybe she does understand the principle on some level.)